Saturday, December 17, 2011

That's How I Feel !!! :')

          I was talking about it, planning everything and before I knew it, here I was in CHINA !! Every time I think something is not going to be so easy (eg. leaving my family behind) life shows me it's the HARDEST things ever. Even when I am mentally prepared life makes me panic a little in the inside. It's like a roller coaster ride, before the ride you say to yourself  "I can do it.It's going to be scary But..I can do it" BUT THEN as soon as You get on the ride you go......."O-Mi-Gwad !!! what was I thinking ?? i CANNOT do this" But then it's too late and you cannot turn back. If you know what I mean. i guess I'll just have to live with it now. :')
       With everything left behind, I hold on to the precious memories. With every passing day, I think about the perfect life I had back home. Nothing has changed, I'm still here, everyone is around in my thoughts and in my heart. <3
       I calculate the time difference & assume what my family must be doing at this time, baba must be watching TV, mamu probably working in the garden n dd still sleeping, ekma sleeping in front of the window & here I am in my room, everything is same, NOTHING has changed !!!!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

RelationSHIPS

              If yuh ask what is the most complicated thing/subject with lots of problems, theories, unsolved mystries n yet to be discovered discoveries, it'll probably be "HUMAN HEART". And no, lets not take it biologically, more on emotions and feelings. Will we ever be able to understand hearts ?? Will there ever be a theory that'll give logical explanations abt one's feelings ? Well, i Dun think so. Wen we cannot understand our own heart, how will we be able to understand other's ?? 
            Relationships are all matter of these tiny hearts. I've had mah heart broken, I've broken some hearts, i let go of some relationships n didn't start some to save a beautiful friendship. It's all so complicated, it always has n may be 'will always be'. What's the key to a successful relationship ? I've always thought its 'LOYALTY', yup its more important den anything else, n love ofcourse. I see ppl fussing over deir unfulfilled relationships or bragging about how great there relationship is. And I still dun understand WHY ?? CAn we not hav relationships pure n clear lyk the open books where we dun hav to talk abt it................jus learn more, fall deep into it, enjoy as we turn the pages & see new beginnings !! 
This text is incomplete coz I still haven't turned that page but, I WILL..........very soon :)  

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

He's GONE



                   I sit alone, thinking about "Us"....how things used to be & how extremely happy I was to have found 'the one'. Exactly the type I was looking for. My Mr.Right or should i say Mr.Perfect. Little bit of sour, a little spice...bitter at times with a drip of sweetness. nahh....I'm not talking abt FOOD. But he actually was a mixture of everything & it felt nice. 
                 Back to Reality, em alone and writing abt my feelings, my longings & my grief. No-one can imagine how much pain dis nostalgic feeling brings. I still wish to be by his side but he No-longer cares. Things fell apart wen he started to change. Sometimes it hard to know some one's feelings and at times it hard to know our OWN feelings. He used to make me smile but now he passes by me like a stranger n I have to force myself to act like one. Its funny how we were so close, talking EVERYDAY and now there's not a simply "HI". I keep waiting for him, silently. He doesn't even know I guess. It hurts when you cannot pass a day without thinking about him but what hurts MORE is yuh dun cross his mind for a second. But wat I need to realise is, he changed or may b i din know him that well. The guy who made me happy is NO LONGER there, a guy who is rude & doesn't care has taken his place !!!!



Picture Source: Google

REVENGE !!!

           2021, I am happy with my life working at a multinational company, working for a wonderful boss. Yesterday we had given a vacancy announcement and today my desk was already filled wid de applications. I had to short list them based on de criteria that our company had provided me. Doing mah job as I always do, I saw a name on one of de application & it brought back tons of memories, I'd say the MOST BITTER ones.
           "What have I done so wrong ? Why do you hate me so much ?" dat was me crying out loud in middle school. Leave it, lets look at de application, well she does meet wid all our criteria. I stared at de dustbin where de rejected applications were dumped. Should I ?? Why not ?? I clearly remember how she cancelled mah history paper wen she was de Head girl, accusing me of cheating wen I WASN'T !!! She turned mah close friends against me. She's da most evil I've ever known. Her application deserves dat dustbin n how can i forget how she tried to steal mah boyfriend in high school ?? *tho she didn't succeed* <3

           It was de next day n she walked in for the interview. Yah !! Yah!! I Didn't dump her application. She went in n came out wid a disappointed face in less den 15 mins. Lol, turns out she didn't have what our boss was looking for, its was clear she FAILED de interview. On her way back, she saw me n wid a frustrated look she asked, "Did yuh do dis ??" I smiled n said, "NO, yuh see, there's a BIG DIFFERENCE between yuh n ME" :))


Picture Source: Google
           
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