A letter to God

Dear God, 

I know we talk everyday but today I thought about writing a letter for a change J

You know what today is, right ?? It’s 12:42 am and it’s my Birthday !!! I was 19 years old 42 minutes ago and now I’m 20 *phew*, sometimes I wish I could stop time and just stay the way I am. With time and everything around me I feel like I’m changing, learning more about life and maybe slowly turning into the person I am meant to be.

Today, I’d like to thank you for everything. I know I am blessed……with a loving family & friends, this heaven like world and every little thing that makes a difference. Sometimes I take it for granted but deep down you know I thank you everyday for being so nice, for giving me happiness, making me strong  and protecting me. I hope one day I’ll be able to give back to life, I’ll be able to do good things and be someone you can be proud of. Sometimes when you don't give me what I ask for I get kinda sad but I can never get mad at you as I know you've already given me more than enough. 

At times I find myself questioning your existence as I see terrible things happening in the world, maybe you have a good reason for all of that, maybe  there would be no good if there was no bad but still there are a lot of things I don't understand(you know what I'm talking about) \

At last I'd just like to say..........."You know what I want for this Birthday ; )"

If “the future me” ever looks back and reads this letter, I would want her to remember when she was 19 she was happy and blessed, she was thankful for things she had and made a promise that one day she will do good things and spread happiness in her own ways.

Life is never perfect, you cannot have everything you want but you can make it ‘imperfectly perfect’ by always looking at the brighter side of the picture  ^^

Every day is a blessing !!

Happy Birthday Lojima :)

When you can't see the other side of the story

Just staring at the floor with a lot of things running through my mind.
A part of me asking me to stop over thinking
...........& a part of me not letting me stop >.<

How much you love people around you ? How much you care & how much are you willing to do for them ?
Sometimes I can't help but wonder what I mean to them.

Doesn't it hurt a lot when somebody means so much to you and at the end you find out you were not a "important" part of their lives ? *been there

At times I just want people to prove to me that all the care & love I have for them, they actually deserve it. It might be me being selfish but I have some serious trust issues. My crazy, evil mind sometimes questions how faithful they are or maybe I am the only one trying and trying harder to maintain the relationship. I don't give up on people but if they don't care about me as I care about them what's the use of holding on ?

May be you care but fail to show. May be you have a lot to say but cannot come up with the right words. Maybe you're trying as hard as I am but how am I supposed to know your side of the story when it feels like I'm standing all alone ?

Trust me, I want to believe you care...I want to believe you'll be there for me but I get scared at times & every once in a while I'd like you to show me 'where I stand' !!!

xoxo
Happy Girl